i think i think too much.

please disregard rambling & sentences that don't make any sense. thanks.

i just finished watching the help.

heaven knows, i'm a crier. always have been. i went through this stage that started in the middle of my freshman year of high school and lasted until my sophomore year where my emotions were dry. nothing made me cry. i feel like it was just myself toughening up for a major move to a new state. i was so ready to start over. around march of my sophomore year, some things happened & i went through some major growing up. then, overnight, it was like i reverted back to my eleven year old self, and random events would make the tears run down my face. maybe its because i'm a tender soul. maybe its because i'm a hormonal seventeen year old girl. maybe its just because i'm a crier & always have & always will be. 

anyways, the help. the story of the black hired help (the maids) in jim crow mississippi. its heart wrenching and beautiful & eye opening. these black women literally raised generation after generation of little white boys and girls who grew up believing they were their real mamas. in all reality, their birth mothers were in the next room over drinking expensive gin & playing bridge with the other members of high social society. over & over, the black maid repeats to her adopted white children: you is kind. you is smart. you is important. because really, who is going to teach you to become an acceptable human being if your own mother won't? or can't? gah. my eyes are filling up with tears as i type this. in the final scene of the movie, as a young girls black maid, Aibileen, is leaving after a nasty fallout with the girl's mother, Aibileen reminds her that she is worth rubies.

"baby, do you remember what i told you?"

"you is kind. you is smart. you is important."

"now baby you must always remember that, even when i'm not here."

oh gosh. this is ridiculous. i'm bawling just thinking about it. i'm five years old sometimes, its fine.

this is the scene when Aibileen teaches her girl just how valuable she is.

so. 

the main point i'm trying to get across.

this movie is amazing. please go watch it. i've always had a soft spot in my heart for life lessons & southern black civil rights movements. you'll cry too. actually, you probably won't. you'll just think of me bawling like a child every time you watch it. 

night :)

jess.

ps. it snowed like, 1/16th of an inch last night. its a good start.

pss. i'm not throwing up anymore. tmi? yeah probably. sorry.

oh, i've got millions. but these are just my favorites.

guilty pleasure #629

the hilarious facial expressions people make when they sing. 

ahem, kofoeds. it makes me giggle & almost feel embarrassed.

guilty pleasure #630

sometimes i listen to ke$ha. 

yes, its a sin unto itself. 

don't be hatin'. 

guilty pleasure #631

when landon says "day-yumm" to me.

then tells me he's going to buy me a new nike tshirt. 

guilty pleasure #632

leaving your phone unattended for a few hours, 

then coming back to realize you have 7 text messages from assorted peers.

then, only answering the ones you feel like.

guilty pleasure #633

putting beads in my hair. 

i look like a hot jedi. 

maybe a hot aboriginal?

its fine; i look hot either way.

guilty pleasure #634

large diet cokes from mcdonalds for a grand total of $1.06,

plus tax. 

sometimes i just really love 32 oz. of caffeinated&carbonated goodness.

guilty pleasure #635

facebook notifications. especially ones that say

"so-and-so & 32 other friends like your status."

its happened before.

& don't lie, you know you love them too.

your guilty pleasures?

you had me at hello.

sept. 1 2011
kaitlyn's house.
chalk party.

i saw him from a distance. i'd met him before but didn't make the connection.
he looked like a different person.

not the skinny boy with braces and long hair i'd met before who stood awkwardly in the corner.

this one was tall, medium broad shoulders, short brown hair, great teeth, and those bright blue eyes that caught mine a few seconds after i saw him.

"hey kait," i said, "who's that kid in the corner, in the mountain view jacket?" her eyes followed my gaze as i nodded my head in his direction.
"him? the tall one? that's nate. remember, you met him last year?"

my head reeled. yes, i remembered. but the nate of last year was definitely not the same nate i was looking at right now.

i've always prided myself in being good at talking to boys, so i walked over to where he was standing. i notice the little things. he's slouching slightly, hands in the pockets of his basketball shorts. work socks and dark blue running shoes. green tshirt under a mountain view high school jacket.

i was almost there.

i adjusted my shirt, my favorite cream and brown polka dot top. my hair was natural and wavy, pulled up into a ponytail with one end flung carelessly over my shoulder. i knew i looked good; i'd planned it because i'd invited spencer and jesse- two step brothers that went to my high school- and i wanted to impress.

i touched his upper arm to get his attention. he was talking to jake and landon, his boys.
"hey, you're nate, right?" i asked with my best smile.
"yeah, thats me. and you're um, uh..." his eyes look up and he's trying frantically to remember my name.
"..its jessica," i supplied.
"right, jessica. i've met you before."

we started a conversation easily. he's fun, i thought.
and cute.

the group's topic turned to byu football.
"byu? really guys?" i said. "utah state's where its at!"
i turned to glance at nate.
his jaw was hanging open at me.
"what?" i asked self consciously.
"i love utah state!" he exclaimed. "both my brothers have gone there and i want to too!"
"no way? that's where i'm planning on going to college!" i replied.
"sweet," he said while running his fingers thru his hair. "we can be friends when we go!"

by this time, it was 11 and i needed to be getting home.
&i honestly thought i'd never see him again.
i said goodbye to everyone and turned to walk through the door.

"hey jess wait a sec," he called after me. "gimme your number! we should do something sometime."
my heart started to beat a little faster as we exchanged information.
he gave me a one armed hug and i walked out to my silver audi.

a few minutes later i see a new message on my phone:

"hey jess, its nate :)"

we blog.

well, i'm home from church today with a massive stomachache...

natali&mom are putting the tree up right now.

they're both home sick too. 

holler for sickies?

i have a goal.
i want 15 followers by january.
so, if you're blog stalking,
press the follow button.
then spread the word.
if you're a current follower,
tell your followers to follow.
and then i think i'll have a giveaway.
but only if i get 15 followers.
deal?
deal.

i've mentioned my pinterest addiction, right?
ha. its bad. real bad. and getting worse by the day.
these are some of the lovelies i've pinned lately.

if you didn't giggle at least once when looking at these, 

you need a new sense of humor. 

just sayin'.

sometimes my mom asks why i'm laughing at my computer. 

its usually because of pinterest. 

cause we're sisters.

pinned.

hello. 
my name is jessica, 
and i'm addicted to pinterest.


its bad.
real bad.


so bad i'm on it during government on my laptop. 

go request an invite. 
it'll be the dumbest   smartest thing you ever do. 


i dare you. 

hehe. 


loves,
jessica.

insert a smile here.

i don't know that i've ever laughed so hard in my entire life

as i did yesterday.

no one knows quite how to put a smile on my face like he does.

we're polar opposites.

and

we get along famously.

he holds my hand and kisses my forehead goodnight.

don't let the pictures deceive, 

i'm standing two stairs higher than he is. 

he's only a foot taller than me. 

we go together rather well. 

nbd.

thanks nate :)

get me with those green eyes, baby.

soooo...

i'm sure you've heard by now.

it's 11.11.11.

pretty much... today was awesome. 

in government at 11:11 we observed a moment of silence.

i made cookie dough during lunch.

"you call them stalkers... i call them friends."

with christina&kaitlyn.

at the car wash.

i cleaned out the truck,

saw nate for oh, 11 minutes.

the bad thing about how spread out everything is in idaho.

its been good. :)

run my fingers thru your hair and watch the lights go wild.

we're going to state.

because in a small town,

everyone

comes to watch. 

what you see is misleading in some cases.

in most cases, tanner is a good kid.

good student, great athlete, etc. etc.

there's exceptions to every rule.

take today in english for example.

tanner is usually asleep snoring in the back corner with his feet on the chair in front of him.

but not today.

the usually sleepy mr. mangum was being filmed by none other than espn elite 11 sports center.

so, he sat up front in the middle, with a gatorade bottle perched on the corner of his desk, school work spread out on his desk.

they fixed his hair and adjusted his nike jacket.

the best part was in a filming break and he leaned over and said "jess, i just want to go to sleep now."

bahah. 

nonetheless,

truly a misrepresentation.

it reinforced the idea that the media can skew things any way they please.

don't worry tanner. 

i still love you.

and good luck tonight at the playoff game against lake city.

go mustangs. :)

jessica. 

cool story, bro.

this is collette. she's one of my beset friends and i got to take her senior pictures last week. they turned out so great.

 chas&nate&summer make me laugh so hard. i'm so blessed to have such good friends. 

everything i say lately is ended with "cool story, bro" or "cool story, hansel". 

holler for zoolander.

i love teaching guitar lessons. i got two new students this week.

know what else i really love? scarves. 

its fall. and fall=scarves and boots. yum.

have a great day. :)

jess.

three lovely lovelies.

these three lovely ladies are 16 this week. i got to go take their pictures for their sweet sixteen last saturday! it was a definite challenge because it gets dark at oh, 6:30 these days and the lighting was really none too good. its alright though, a little photoshop and a lot of love can fix everything. 

happy birthday kristina, court&mal!

oh. a funny story about dumb people. yes?

yes.

this stoner in one of my classes got a hhugee ugly tattoo on his chest, some weird quote.

while showing the entire class, my teacher pointed out that he used the wrong form of "you're" 

on his tattoo. we all busted a gut laughing and i've never heard so much cussing in my life. 

it was hysterical.

the moral of the story?

tattoo artists are just as stupid (if not stupider) than the people actually getting the tat.

have a lovely tuesday. 

jessica.

(i say lovely alot.)

ap government has turned my brain to mush.

i laugh at these.

my heart's a stereo.

i've been gone, i know.

life has been completely insane.

homecoming, life, school, college applications,

boys, boys, different boys, football boys,

football games,

powderpuff,

new friends and old friends,

working, guitar, working, horses.

etc. etc.

my friends are all getting mission calls. i feel old.

i'm trying to convince the guys that febreeze does NOT make your pads or truck smell better after football. no.

i've started teaching guitar and picked up the photography bug.

i decided i love love taking people's pictures!

school is hard, but i knew it would be.

i seriously have the best friends i could ever ask for.

music has been great lately too.

summer makes me laugh on a daily basis.

s: "she's rude, a drama queen, has weird style that she thinks is super great, is always hormonal, and kisses gross people, but i still want to be friends with her."

j: "did you just hear what came out of your mouth?"

s: "ridiculous, i know. don't be hatin'."

crazy women. :)

lunch trips to sam's, summer's, julie's, & bethany's.

racing the boys to the popcorn in mr. gural's calc class.

it's become a rather large women's rights joke.

"raw meat only attracts dogs."

crazy girl, don't you know that i love you.

random photoshoots in random rainstorms.

chas hit the curves ahead sign in his yellow truck.

a week later, the garbage man hit the same sign.

fall leaves.

cute jackets.

love is in the air.

again.

jessica :)

(the poor sign. hahaha.)

oh ryan. i love him.

makes me wanna take a backroad.

the first two weeks of school have been blissfully great.

my schedule is perfect. late start, seminary, and photography.

ap calc, ap english, ap government, ap econ, hon chem.

no big deal. 

the field by the school is stacking their wheat. 

its beautiful, so i had to stop and take a picture.

we won our football game friday [!!!!]

and bsu won theirs saturday. [!!!!]

the weather is still in the upper 80's low 90's,

but the mornings have a yummy crispness that only comes in fall.

my birthday is next week. 

according to parker, its the sexy seventeenth that counts. 

haha. 

new favorite song.

remind me by brad paisley and carrie underwood.

or, 

long hot summer by keith urban.

i can't choose.

or maybe lighters by bruno mars...

whoever invented favorites of everything is dumb.

loves, 

jessica :)

today...

do you love? 

because i love.

only in idaho.

one down.

oh, eagle high school.

you've been good to me.

it was nice to walk down those halls today.

it was weird, it almost felt like home.

ryan started today as well.

i like my classes.

landon, clara, tanner, & ashley are great.

ms. taylor? hmmm.. we'll see.

i hope this year is just as good.

football is great.

even when it depletes my 2 best friends extra time.

one to the game, one to sports med.

no matter.

i gain bragging rights and free

entertainment on friday evenings.

this should be great.

loves,

jess.

and stay down there, son.

oh yes, we did.

again.

http://www.idahostatesman.com/2011/07/23/1736241/mangum-proves-hes-elite.html

football jamboree was on thursday. it was a round robin 4-minute interval 15 minute game sequence between eagle and three other schools. we won our first two and lost the last two.

but get this.

it wasn't because we're not the best, (because we are) it's because tanner throws too hard.

yup.

he throws with amazing accuracy and the arm of an nfl quarterback.

unfortunately, the recievers don't have the same skill, therefore dropping the ball

too often because of the intensity of the throw.

GAH.

i knew coach pete was mad because he kept taking off and putting back on his sombrero.

his sombrero.

that just happened.