&you don't know how to say it.

those times when you're trying to explain to your best friend
how you feel
and you thought you got it across,
but all they say is
"like, what do you mean?"

this is what i mean.

its sad when people you know become people you knew.
when you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life.
how you used to be able to talk to them for hours, and now,
you can barely even look at them.

it happens. it does.

but today
even though i don't explain things well to them (ha)
i'm thankful for my friends.& 
for nate, who always has a running analogy for everything he says.
and if its not running, its pasta.
for kaitlyn, who knows when to rub your back and say "its okay."
for summer, who is incredibly hysterical and gets me in trouble
for being irreverent during church...
for chas, who can spit out song lyrics like no one's business.
&for mallory, who can always tell when i need a hug and a "jess, i love you!"

because no man is an island.
we need people to interact with.
because people hurt& people heal.
its just how it is.

grateful for the knowledge that even though we might walk on paths
strewn with pebbles that may hurt our feet,
Christ has walked the stoniest path of all.
he's only a prayer away.
he's real, &i know it.

&thats my rant for the day.
(i could go on, but my foot fell asleep.)


loves,
jessica :)

breeding grounds.

i love canoeing.

while singing songs.

and waving at random fishermen and their families.

on our way to the frog breeding grounds.

awkward?

nnaaaaah.

the fourth.

out.

i'm out of books again.

this is a serious issue.

help.

i don't have a specific genre that i love or hate,

so really i will read anything.

recommendations please!!!

sincerely,

the girl without books to read.

it's okay.

sometimes its okay to go to bed at 9:46pm and wake up at 10:27am.

it's at times like this that i know why the prophet tells us not to get too involved with boys.

if you end a sentence with "don't worry, i'll be okay" enough, you begin to believe it.

i read D&C 6:23 every single day. i think i would go through withdrawals if i didn't already have it memorized.

who needs to shower when you can go swimming?

how do you all feel about a giveaway? i've mentioned it before but unless i've got some interest what's the point, yeah?

if you've got a hankering to give me a gift, this is only $2.00.

i like it when butterscotch gets a bath. she turns copper and smells like the great outdoors.

baby powder saves your herr from the nasty greasiness that is a product of girls camp.

how on earth do some of these girls get kissed so much?!?@#@#$%^!*%?

please stop being so windy outside. thanks.

if you text me, i promise i'll text back. sorry i've been so bad at that lately.

i need some new clothing. efy is on the way.

sometimes i worry way tooooo much about things that aren't in my control.

summer is moving too fast.

help!

tell me how you feel.

i want to know.

how do ya'll feel about maxi dresses?

love 'em, hate 'em, like 'em sometimes, but only if the weather is any good?

i really can't decide.

my 5foot3inch frame is a little to short for these

long dresses.

but please, i'd like to know how you feel.

is it even legal for me to be seen in this?!?

i have a feeling that if it wasn't so late it wouldn't be such a big deal.

but hey.

i'm a teenager doing what teenagers do at 11:00 on a summer night.

blogging.

'cause thats super normal right?

right.

welllll...

anyways.

wind.

that's another good subject.

it's really windy here.

really.

sometimes i get super frustrated.. and then i go running and i'm grateful for the wind that cools off my skin.

"cause i'm like really pretty."

which brings me to another point.

but i digress.

clara, michelle, mamma and me all have this great inside joke.

(oh. and brinley. she kinda started this whole thing.)

anyways, whilst we wear our hair in topknots and our bodies in sweats and white cotton t's,

the saying begins with an imaginary hair flip and a valley girl "i'm like, really pretty."

today at target, five store people came up to nat and i and asked me if i needed help finding anything.

no thanks guys, i've only been here a bajillion times.

natali asked me why they kept asking me that.

"i don't know natali."

"wow. maybe you are like really pretty."

and i was wearing makeup... whaaaaaa? yeah. makeup. in fact, i've gotten so tan in the last week that i was actually at target to get my foundation in "classic tan" instead of "soft honey." and noo, no. i don't fake tan.

it's all natural.

can't you tell?

ps. the window next to the computer is open.. it smells like blueberry bagels outside.

huh. how interesting.

i really should get to bed.

later.

j-dubb.

finders, keepers.

i found this, and therefore, according the the rules of the playground, i get to keep this. e.kirby's journal.

i'm making my own.

i started today.

mosquitos are here.

i've been dreading the day.

i now have three on my ankle, thank you.

blech.

summatime.

clara, ryan and myself got coupons to the shave ice shack.

if you're questioning the flavoring, you want guava, raspberry, lime, and strawberry.

yummmm.

here's to 80 degree weather.

farmland is beautiful during the summer. everyone just cut their alfalfa. potatoes and corn are just poking out of the ground. onions and mint are smellin' up the air. and i love it.

a certain young man came down with strep throat.

i'm taking him a diet coke today, cause we're best friends.

:)

loves,

jessica

naptime.

as of today, it's been summer for five days. five days of camping, bliss, taking pictures of the horses, and rain.

wait.

rain?

yes, yes. i did say rain. only in the mountainous western states such as idaho and utah can you get all four seasons in one day. believe me, it's like the sky is having a serious midlife crisis.

and it's driving me bonkers.

right now.

dad, michelle, and mom have decided to go to girls camp.

it's going to be a blast. (no sarcasm intended)

he's singing hello, hello, hello, hello, we welcome you today, hello.

not sure why, but whatevs.

there's this boy.

he runs track, has light brown hair and hazel eyes, is afraid of bees & spiders, gets as tan as i do in the summer, is new to idaho as well, loves the color green, eats extra peppermint gum, loves raspberries, works for my dad a few days a week, and is the only person that can call me jess.

we're on our way to being best friends.

i like him.

i feel like summer break is a misnomer...

there is still summer reading to do, standardized tests to take, camps to go to, and people to meet. doesn't really sound like a break.

whatever. don't worry about it.

what are you guys up to?

loves, jessica.

nancy and shirley have good days sometimes.

ethan is turning 8 next week.

he's a great looking kid, right?

he's my favorite brother at the moment. ryan is being relentless about the fact that i'm not popular enough to be in the yearbook more than three times. pshaw.

remember that blank wall in my room?

not blank anymore.

last night my mamma and michelle (nancy and shirley)

hung all my pictures while i layed on my bed.

i'm helpful, whatever. :)

now only if they would clean my room...

loves,

jessica.

you know how it is.

sometimes summer tastes like neapolitan ice cream and hot fudge while laying in the hammock.

i decided that dermatone chapstick and peppermint gum go together quite well.

the horses have got huge grass bellies from all the green stuff outside.

the ducks aren't babies anymore, and they're really loud.

job searching is the worst.

chickens are terrible. especially when they all run towards you at once.

i'm applying for college soon.

i only have one day of school left.

history club, key club, and bpa is awaiting me, along with my online classes.

i want to do a giveaway.

but i don't know what to put in it.

what would your ideal giveaway contain?

i need ideas.

and who knows, you might just win it.

(keep it in a good price range. haha.)

felicity.

felicity.

fe·lic·i·ty

[fi-lis-i-tee]

–noun1.

the state of being happy, especially in a high degree; bliss.

i'm in the mood to make a felicity list.

i love this word, it embodies everything that makes me happy.

• summer weather.
• cute dresses. especially this one.
• spring cardigans.
• green grass.
• reading outside in seminary.
• d&c section 6.
• when butterscotch is a good girl.
• clean stalls.
• clean rooms.
• clean bathrooms.
• "i do" by colbie callait.
• colorful sunsets.
• good books.
• when grandma stays for a few days. [that totally rhymed]
• natali's 10th birthday is tomorrow.
• the world is still here.
• beginning to get my summer tan on.
• scheduling senior pictures.
• senior pictures of my graduating friends.
• the freshness of the air at 7:00 in the morning.
• it's almost june?
• seminary graduation last night makes me glad i don't skip.
• next year, school starts at 8:00. yeeesssss.
• cousins are visiting soon.
• strawberry cream pie.
• midnight pomegranate.
• chocolate eggs left over from easter.
• a brand new pack of markers.
• a car full of gas.
• 2-for-5 flip flops at old navy.
• tacos and other such warm weather food.
• vice president in history club and potentially bpa next year.
• cabins in the mountains.
• a good long sleep.

whooo that got to be a long list. needless to say, despite my D in calculus i'm in a good mood. its really, really sad that i'm planning on taking summer school to retake this class. but really what's a couple weeks of summer for an A? bleeeech. whatevs. i always was proud that i was a smart kid. i wonder if this is a lesson in humility? i really hope not, it's a little humiliating.

anyways, i'm really glad that video touched you guys like it did me. i really feel like this is the best video they've ever made. it is so personal to every high school student and come on, we can all do what that kid did. he was able to bring someone unto christ purely because of his example on the sports teams that he was on. it's not hard. sometimes i clam up and forget everything i've learned in the past 17 years of church, but know what? i put that barrier on myself. there are people that i know need to hear what i know, and i know that you know people that need to know, even if you live in mormon central, utah, usa. enough with my spitting out everything that is popping into my head. [p.s. i like someone in a major sort of way. maybe more later?]

have a great day. as kaitlyn says, remember who you are and make good choices. and as my momma says, be helpful, respectful, kind and calm.

peace out.

j-dubb. :)

oh and one more thing.

go make your own felicity list.

it'll make you feel great.

promise.

kudos to you if you read all the way down here.

i'm in the mood for a lotion that smells like coconut tanning spray or some other yummy concoction. what are your favorites?

so... i really like this.

a funny story.

right before meg announced her giveaway,

my friend tori bought three bottles of ocean potion aloe lotion.

it smells like divinity and feels even better.

so, we went to walmart and target with no luck.

any suggestions on where to look next?

anywho, meg is doing this fun giveaway.

i'd like to win please. and thank you.

:)

j-dubb

today...

i've been known to post random pictures of myself on occasion.

i felt like today should be an occasion.

so here is me.

so i'm like really pretty. especially when i'm done working out.

speaking of workouts, after summer and i were done at the gym today, i climbed in my car and noticed a receipt on my windshield. i thought it had just blown there but obviously someone had thought i parked really badly.

i hadn't exactly parked straight, but they are tiny spaces and there was no one else in the entire section of parking lot.

the offender was a young man from mountain view.

mountain view kids hate eagle kids.. and lo i had my parking permit in the front window.

so i got a nice note.

ah, teenagers. gotta love them and their language.

it actually made me laugh for a couple minutes.

after this incident, we went to d&b to get some horse vaccination supplies

and winco to get crystal light.

i'm addicted to this yummy drink.

seriously.

seriously.

seriously.

addicted.

if you want to be my best friend for eternity, buy me a couple o' boxes. :)

loves.

jessica

dear mr. harm...

dear mr. harm,

i genuinely hate your class.

all we ever do is talk about people that steal things and watch ridiculous snl videos on youtube.

so a week ago when you said we were going to get a project, i was actually kind of happy.

you asked us to do a photo essay.

personally, i think this is stupid.

i don't have a theme.

this is an english class.

not a digital photography class.

but, because i want an A, i did your stupid photo essay.

just because you are the xc coach,

you are not cooler than the rest of us.

trust me.

sincerely, your frustrated student,

jessica.

{my photo essay.}

trek.

so, i thought that i would share some pictures from trek this summer. we dressed up as pioneers and spent 3 days in the idaho wilderness. we relived all of the sacrifices that the early poineers made. river crossings, food shortages, deaths, (not real ones!) and wagon breakdowns were just a few. it was awesome, and i loved having my friends around me. enjoy!