things that keep me up at night.

wanting something. 

like a cup of hot chocolate.

something that needs done. 

worrying. 

anticipation. 

the future. 

also known as 

that thing called college. 

jealousy. 

too hot. 

too cold. 

comparisons. 

expectations. 

tomorrows outfit.

planning. 

you. 

john lennon.via pinterest.

&you don't know how to say it.

those times when you're trying to explain to your best friend
how you feel
and you thought you got it across,
but all they say is
"like, what do you mean?"

this is what i mean.

its sad when people you know become people you knew.
when you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life.
how you used to be able to talk to them for hours, and now,
you can barely even look at them.

it happens. it does.

but today
even though i don't explain things well to them (ha)
i'm thankful for my friends.& 
for nate, who always has a running analogy for everything he says.
and if its not running, its pasta.
for kaitlyn, who knows when to rub your back and say "its okay."
for summer, who is incredibly hysterical and gets me in trouble
for being irreverent during church...
for chas, who can spit out song lyrics like no one's business.
&for mallory, who can always tell when i need a hug and a "jess, i love you!"

because no man is an island.
we need people to interact with.
because people hurt& people heal.
its just how it is.

grateful for the knowledge that even though we might walk on paths
strewn with pebbles that may hurt our feet,
Christ has walked the stoniest path of all.
he's only a prayer away.
he's real, &i know it.

&thats my rant for the day.
(i could go on, but my foot fell asleep.)


loves,
jessica :)

i'm pretty sure seminary is not supposed to be like this.

i absolutely loved my seminary class & teacher in tigard.

the program was awesome and the teachers even more so.

here?

an almost 47% lds community with crappy teachers and kids who know

that the teachers will bend to their every whim

make for the lamest spiritual experience ever.

in fact, i often leave feeling relieved to be headed back towards the main school.

i love my peers... just not in the seminary building.

i find this irritating and problematic.

our building has 4 classrooms, 4 teachers, and 5 full-sized classes a day,

making 10 total classes on the A/B schedule.

the seminary president has heard complaints

from many a mother and father and student (including this one)

but hasn't done anything to fix it yet.

advice to get thru this last quarter would be greatly appreciated.

oh hey, guess what?

so, i guess it's really not normal to have a D in calculus.
like, really not normal.
apparently, i have an abnormally difficult time
figuring out why the derivative of an ellipse's
a value is important.
holla to mst.
i've missed you.

not.